Enter through the kebab joint, bypass the Turkish bakehouse on your left, and continue to the tiny glass fronted booth with enough room for two chairs, two barbers, and a smoking ashtray. Out front there’s a pile of chairs straight from a Neighbours office set and a peach leather massage chair, 2 € a pop – not one of them is empty. The men are queuing for their Saturday morning shave.

Inside, one of the barbers is sporting a long ponytail with a cigarette stuck to his bottom lip as he works quietly behind the ‘No Smoking’ sign. The aesthetic is casual, but these men mean business. They’re palming their patron’s face like a basketball. Play along, and always say yes to coffee. The clientele is your older, more conservative gent (one sporting tie-dye jeans), but word on the street is this is the best place to get shave this side of the Spree.

Before you can sip your coffee a lavender hand towel is thrust in your collar and the first lather begins. They go at you speedy flicks of a straight ‘cut-throat’ razor with restrained precision. This process is repeated to ensure maximum smoothness. Next, the barber applies the new fandangle apparatus that has replaced the ancient technique of threading to remove any stragglers.

A brief inspection reveals an ear flaming is in order, the nose hairs are deemed acceptable for now. The barber’s thick, nicotine-infused hands are not unwelcome for the final cold-cream rubdown. There’s safety in those hands and you quietly hope for an approving pinch on the cheek. But with a slap on the back and a collection of 6€, you’re out the door with cheeks so smooth your nose might slide off.

Take your dapper self over to Galerie Open for a slice of Germany’s contemporary art scene and enjoy your dinner at Cafe Obermaier (Erkelenzdamm 17) for a simple, delicate and unbeatable take on traditional German cuisine.

Tunnel Hair is cutting-edge, literally. Clean lines and modernist design, a hall of mirrors with jagged panels of reflections inviting the leafy green of neighbouring Lausitzer Platz into this tunnel of concrete. A little bit Eastern Bloc, a little bit Snoop Dog, the grey and the cool mingle nicely and become straight-up sleek.

Like champagne with your chop? Yes please. Now take a load off and prepare to become a piece of art. Super friendly stylist Dom explains, “In our salon we give really edgy cuts. We don’t sell products. It’s about cuts.”

Hand-picked by owner Viktor Leske, Tunnel’s stylists are gifted at sculpting the perfect style to match whatever kind of beard you’re working. Immaculately presented, these are the chaps (and lady) that you want cutting out the New You. I asked Dom how your average punter could keep his locks looking good. “Just keep it sharp. Get it trimmed every three to four weeks.”

There’s no questioning this is where this hip kids come for cuts, but there’s an innocence and accessibility about Tunnel that is completely endearing. A friend was three sips into his bubbly when he overheard one of the hipster stylists asking his hipster customer what he would like:

Hipster: “I don’t want to look too much like a hipster.”

Stylist: “What’s a hipster?”

Hipster: “Oh you know, those guys around Kreuzberg.”

Barber: “Oh yeah, them, I totally know what you mean.”

Cut. It. Out.

Cycle your new quiff over to Burgermeister to admire other like-minded hairstyles and beards and chow down on Berlin’s best burger and chilli fries before legging it over the Oberbaumbrücke Bridge to stroll the East Side Gallery.