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Beard Disasters

Ralph Fiennes, Justin Bieber, David Beckham, Sylvester Stallone and Zach Galifianakis are among the worst beard and facial hair culprits according to David Glover. 

Our resident expert explains why, and suggests some remedies

Culprit No. 1: Zach Galifianakis

SHAVE YOUR STYLE DISASTERS ZACK Galifianakis, Zack Galifianakis, © Steve Granitz / Getty Images
Zack Galifianakis

Zach Galifianakis’ lack of facial hair styling makes me think one thing: ‘animal’. The thicker and fuller the beard is, the more attention you need to take in trimming it regularly to keep it under control. 

A more slimming effect to such a round face would be to keep the sides and cheeks shorter while leaving the chin area longer for a more elongated shape. That said, even with shades and a hat on, you still know who it is.

Culprit No. 2: Justin Bieber

SHAVE YOUR STYLE DISASTERS JUSTIN BIEBER, Justin Bieber, © Christopher Polk / Getty Images
Justin Bieber

I think Justin got Movember confused with Halloween. Attempting to draw awareness to the November cause was actually quite charming for someone who is not old enough to grow even the slightest shadow. I did find an actual picture of the reported ’tache, but you couldn’t see anything! It’s a pity he’s too young to smoke as well cos the cigar would have completed the costume.

Culprit No. 3: Sylvester Stallone

SHAVE YOUR STYLE DISASTERS SYLVESTER STALLONE, Sylvester Stallone, © Christian Augustin / Getty Images
Sylvester Stallone

Sylvester Stallone's facial hair looks more Ronald MacDonald than Rambo. His ‘M’ shaped stache reminds me of the golden arches, and only leaves me wondering if they serve fries with that?

I would prefer to see Sly with a full, neatly groomed stubble to add shadow and contour to his cheeks and jawline, rather than focusing all the attention on his nose and mouth.

Disaster No 4: David Beckham

Shave-Your-Style-David-Beckham4, © getty images - Ian Walton

As previously discussed in my earlier article David is the prince of metro style, and doesn’t often put a foot wrong. This was one of the rare occasions where the look was just not working for him.

He really could have done with a neck trim to say the least. A bit of shaping under the jawline would have at least given him back his chin. Check out David’s better looks here.

Disaster No. 5: Ralph Fiennes

SHAVE YOUR STYLE DISASTERS RALPH FIENNES, Ralph Fiennes, © Fred Duval / Getty Images
Ralph Fiennes

Ok, so I couldn’t help myself. I can only hope that Ralf Fiennes was preparing himself for a new role as a caveman because there could be no other excuse. This look gives the illusion that his head is sitting directly on his shoulders. 

Trimming the fullness from the sides and under his chin would give him back his neck and the ability to turn his head a full 180 degrees.  

David Glover
About the author:

David Glover, Beard Style Expert, based in New York City

David is an internationally renowned stylist, and was awarded Australian Hair Expo's ‘Session Hairstylist of the Year’. He's lived in Sydney and London, and now calls NYC home.

Articles by David Glover